So guys, I'm writing. Or I was before I opened up this window to type this entry. Anyway, I haven't been this inspired by my own ideas in a long time.

I have a hard time writing decent stories. I don't want my plots or characters to fall flat, but I don't have the ability to work backwards from events to reasons. I look at writing stories as smoothing the edges of a rough stone. I start out with this massive boulder, really vast and vague and not having anything resembling class about it. And I start chipping away at it, but the work is really tiring and I don't see any progress as I move along. There are these big chunks that won't budge, no matter how hard I toil away at them. Usually I just give up and hide the boulder away for years and come back to look at it and laugh at how sad my progress was. But very rarely, those big chunks of boulder fall away a bit more easily, and it gives me the heart to move on. And soon I'm heartily chipping away, enjoying how the bits of rock just crumble away. I begin to hope that I can get out my polishing tools to make a smooth, compact, beautiful stone that I can show off and declare, "this is my smooth stone, I worked forever at this, and I really hope you like it."

Christ, no wonder I don't write very often. But the point of that long drawn out metaphor was that writing for me is difficult. I read...a lot. And as much as that reading helps me, it hinders my self-esteem, making me believe I will never in a million years be able to like my own work as much as I like the work of my heroes. So when I do finally find that my rock is chipping away steadily, it excites me and helps me out of my rut. I don't often find that I can explain my story ideas without blushing at my own silliness, but I think I can actually start being proud of this one.

I find that a large boulder that I started on five years ago has finally started losing fragments. And it's so great to know that I can indeed flesh these characters out, and create a world in which their problems are real and their lives are able to relate to. And it is so much fun.

I hope that I can begin to share these ideas very soon. Of course I had a lot of help - from a man who lived over a hundred years ago. But he gave me a boost to begin writing, and hopefully I'll use that boost in the future to start from scratch and finish more stones than I could have possibly hoped all on my own. I'll work on my more original ideas when I get this test down, and thankfully it's moving smoothly for now. I know I'll run into more hindrances, more chunks of rock that refuse to budge, but I'll be there with a jackhammer when the time comes.

I know what I'll be doing for the next couple of years. :)

Hey peeps. My vacation started today and ends Monday. Four months of not vacation and five days of summer. I think I can live with that, work wasn't so bad. I'll be working weekends to fund my expensive hobbies, so at least I don't have to worry about money. I can't wait to see my friends in NH, that's been the only downside of this summer...I've been all alone for months :(

I'm desperately trying to decide between a pair of BTSSB wood-sole platform red shoes and a replica of the AP crown shoes. It's one or the other. The BABY shoes are so tempting...but they're $180 and I'd be terrified of harming them. The AP-style ones I've had my eye on for a long time, and they'd be around $50, so clearly more suited to my budget. Guuuhhhh I don't know. In the end I'll probably go for the crown shoes, because as much as I love BABY's shoes I can't justify wearing them on the streets of Manchester. They'd never be worn.

You guys I have so been drawing I swear. Been working on a small series of drawings of lolita pirates. I'm sorry, I love pirate lolita. All three pirates will have natural ocean phenomena-related names. I've got a girl in red for Red Tide, a girl in blue for Nor'Easter, but I have no idea what I should name a third one. Also I'm working on a new (sort of) story that I actually started writing when I was 14. I really liked the idea and I'm starting to hone it, so I'd expect some concepts if I were you. Also I want to keep going with the Peter Pan lolita series.

Guuuuhhhh school, why do you have to suck up so much time/energy/money?! My life was so cushy just going to work every day, two paychecks a week, doing whatever in the evenings...none of this homework nonsense.

Well since I have nothing better to do I figured I'd list all the fun things I plan to do between now and next year. Awesome!

• October 24-25, Boston Comic Con! I've only been once even though it's bi-annual. I had fun with Aimee, and I want to go earlier this time and catch all the rad happenings.
  
• October 31, Halloween! Not necessarily something I have to plan, but it's always an important day for me.
  
• November 6, Mike Birbiglia in Boston. I'm gonna ask around to see who else wants to go, it'll be awesome.
  
• January? February? I'll see when he posts it. EDDIE IZZARD BACK IN BOSTON. HOLY SHIT. This is a very important one.
  
• March something, New York trip with NHIA. That will be awesome.
  
• April 2-4, Anime Boston! I'm really excited about this, since I've never gone and always wanted to. Now I sorta have a reason to again :D
  
• October 8-10 2010, New York Comic Con. I really really want to go, guys. I only wish I'd gone this year. Oh well. But yes, I will have to plan this out carefully.

Big year planned! I'm glad I'll be getting out, hopefully other people will want to go too.

FFFUUUUUUUHHHHH WHY am I so damn itchy?!

Okay, so busy month ahead. Be prepared. For instance, the EGL community is putting together another BABY, THE STARS SHINE BRIGHT fan scrapbook, and art is welcome. I want to do an Alice and the Pirates tribute illustration, because I really really love that brand. I spent a few hours last night brainstorming, trying to come up with an entirely AatP coordinate, but I haven't had any really good ideas for a pose for Alice yet. That is but one of my projects, and it's due August 1st. Yes.

I kinda want to do something for AkuRoku day too, August 13th. I guess it's all the Kingdom Hearts I've been playing. Guess I'll do that then :D

I should really just do a bunch of non-scripted, rough comics just to get myself into the hang of it again. It's been a long time since I've attempted any kind of comic. Some of my old stuff is pure genius.

Oh yeah, I just ordered a new bathing suit. I think it's super cute! Hopefully I'll get to wear it before the summer ends...Someone go to the beach with me! D:

So so so...bunches and oodles of things going on. Which is a lie. But I have been drawing whenever I can, and thinking of new things every time I get a chance to think. I've got a few fun things to share :D

Well, an update on my himeloli experimental chibi. I finished the lines while watching Pride and Prejudice for the zillionth time. The colors will be in soon enough.

Finally a new picture of Neppa! I barely ever draw him anymore. It's nothing special, and so retardedly static, but I really gotta crawl before I walk. Laaaaaammmmeee.

And a new project! I was inspired by the egl_comm_art June theme of fanart, even though I don't think I'll make it for the deadline. But that's okay! After reading Peter Pan, I knew I needed to do something for it. The concept fits lolita so perfectly, but at the same time it's about a little boy who runs around like a wild beast, the exact opposite of the loli aesthetic. But there's nothing like a good challenge to motivate me! So I'll be doing a series of five images, each of a different character (Peter, Tinkerbell, Wendy, Captain Hook, and Tiger Lily). And boy, is it difficult. I've got Tink sketched out, so I wanna play around with my digital medium and get a better feel for lines especially. I'll explain each piece as I finish it.

I hope to get to see a bunch of my friends very soon! It's good feeling like you're wanted around :D

So I have a definite working list of things I want to do and may or may not get done this summer. They are definitely my goals though! So I figure I should list them:

• Get fit! It's been on my mind for years, and I think I should finally get to it if I ever want to feel better about myself. Lawrence Mt. Rd., right behind my house, it a rough calculation of a fourth a mile in length, so I figure I can jog it four times each morning. Karate Thursday nights should be fun, and I'm gonna take a bike ride to the Heights to test the distance to see if I can do it to and from on Mondays. I hope I can do this!
  
• Comic book! This is very important. I've been researching, sketching, writing, and thinking almost nonstop for days now, and I'm forming a theory on which the plot is based and the basis of the characters and setting. It's actually coming together, I just need to pace the plot and design everything for now. I expect to be done with the drafts by the end of June. Hopefully. I'm not gonna stress about it, it's supposed to be for personal growth. I also have a bunch of lolita-themed mini comics starring my own original characters I want to get to work on.
  
• Play all the Kingdom Hearts games! I bought a sweet silver PS2 two years ago, and I'm damn well gonna use it. It's been a long time since I played my way through KH 1 and 2, and I got Chain of Memories when it came out and never played it. So video games it is.
  
• Save my money! Last year was a disaster, I really need to pay attention to saving my funds so I can pay off my student loans once I get out of college. I'll still obviously be buying plenty of stuff for myself, but I've devised an ingenious way of splitting my money - put my larger paycheck from Market Basket in my savings account, and my smaller one from the Heights into my checking one. Then everyone's happy!
  
• Go to the beach! Seriously, this doesn't happen enough. We're going to the beach, guys.
  
• Canobie Lake Park with Amy! I swear to god this is happening.
  
• Making t-shirts! I've had a ton of ideas for shirts I've really really wanted for a while, and now I have the time to make them :D They include (but are not limited to) a proper Green Lantern shirt as opposed to those lame green shirts with just the logos, a Harley Quinn shirt, a Wonder Woman tank top, and an original Black Ram design. I'm excited and terrified :D
  
• Read a lot of books! This is kind of a no-brainer, but I have a lot of books I really need to read, and Peter Pan is at the top of my list right now. Along with all the Jane Austen I have yet to read. And histories of a lot of places. It will be educational and fun <3

Yikes, I'm busy. Hopefully it will be worth it. Wish me luck :D